Barney Meets The World

Since the beginning of time, people have always pushed the boundaries of speed and aerodynamics. Many people have tried to create machines which could perfect both. Crafted by skilled mechanical hands in japan, I bring you Barney.

Barney is a 1996 Toyota Corolla Seca RV, which is Keppel Blue in colour. It is a 5 gear stick shift with a twin cam 1.8L engine.

Design:
Though not as flashy as many other cars on the market, what Barney lacks in style, it makes up in aerodynamics. Barney is able to cut through the air, much like a hot knife through a tub of butter. The deadly combination of sleek curves and lines make Barney a fierce beast on Perth's roads.



Many people are fooled by Barney's colour. Don't let it's colour fool you folks, because Keppel Blue (not purple), actually, believe it or not, makes the car just as fast as a red one.



Barney's alloy wheels, whilst not exactly "chromes" or "the shit", work well with his well shaped body, and add a sense of sophistication, whilst at the same time telling everyone "I'm a down to earth type of car".



The interior is quite luxurious as it accentuates gentle curves with black and grey pieces fitted together in perfect unison. It's minimal design, whilst to some people may say "hey, I'm cheap", to me, it screams "simple is sexy". Nothing is out of place in Barney as his interiors were just as thought out as his sexy exterior.

Mods:
Barney is hardly a stock vehicle as he has been fitted with suave black, grey and red "Rally Sport" seat covers, and an extremely comfortable steering wheel cover, which match each other perfectly.



Function & Performance:
Barney is equipped with a magnificent steering wheel, which seems to turn the road somehow when moved. It is assisted with a power steering system which makes driving a breeze.



The 5 gear manual gearbox is standard with most toyota economy class vehicles. It might not look pretty, but it gets the job done. Remember, the quality and smoothness of the ride doesn't depend on the car, but the driver.



The 1.8L twin cam engine makes Barney a swift competitor among australian roads. Barney has won his fair share of races against other Perth road beasts including Hyundai Excels and Ford Lasers. This engine gives more than enough torque for the average driver, and may even satisfy the tastes of some rev-heads.

Some of the editors of this blog have felt the quality of Barney's ride:
"...the soft suspension dampens the bumps on the road, thus relieving my buttocks of the hard kancho-ness (read as "ass pain"). A slight shudder from bad clutch work also provides a good massage. Barney's air-con could be better..." - Mike Nguyen

"...The acceleration is comparable to a porsche. Incredible, without being uncomfortable. Mindblowing without being head-exploding.
It is the perfect balance of awesome and refinement
That is, the essence of the barney..." - Pete Nguyen

Conclusion:
Barney is a marvel of mechanics, aerodynamics and awesome. A machine which excels in the aspects of driving, parking and pimping, it is a car that everyone should have, I advise you to go buy one now!

Here are some more raunchy pics to get your blood pumping.